What Does the Bible Say About Sex?

Let’s talk about sex. Yes, the “S” word. As young Christians, we've probably been warned not to have sex before marriage. Maybe you've gotten the impression that God thinks sex is bad, but the Bible says something quite contrary. If looked at from a godly perspective, sex in the Bible is a very good thing.

What Does the Bible Say About Sex?

Wait. What? Sex is a good thing? God created sex. Not only did God design sex for reproduction--for us to make babies--he created sexual intimacy for our pleasure.

The Bible says that sex is a way for a husband and wife to express their love to one another. God created sex to be a beautiful and enjoyable expression of love:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number.” (Genesis 1: 27-28, NIV)

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24, NIV)

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19, NIV)

“How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights!” (Song of Songs 7:6, NIV)

The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. (1 Corinthians 6:13, NIV)

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5, NLT)

So, God Says Sex Is Good, But Premarital Sex Is Not?

That's right. A lot of talk goes on around us about sex. We read about it in just about every magazine and newspaper, we see it on television shows and in movies. It's in the music we listen to. Our culture is saturated with sex, making it seem like sex before marriage is okay because it feels good.

But the Bible does not agree. God calls us all to control our passions and wait for marriage:

But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:2-3, NIV)

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (Hebrews 13:4, NIV)

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, NIV)

Sex is a gift from God to be fully enjoyed by married couples. When we honor God's boundaries, sex is a very good and beautiful thing.

What If I’ve Already Had Sex?

If you had sex before becoming a Christian, remember, God forgives our past sins. Our transgressions are covered by the blood of Jesus Christ on the cross.

If you were already a believer but fell into sexual sin, there is still hope for you. While you cannot become a virgin again in a physical sense, you can obtain God’s forgiveness. Just ask God to forgive you and then make a genuine commitment not to continue sinning in that way.

True repentance means turning away from sin. What angers God is a willful sin, when you know you are sinning, but keep on participating in that sin. While giving up sex may be difficult, God calls us to remain sexually pure until marriage.

Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is justified from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses. (Acts 13:38-39, NIV)

You must abstain from eating food offered to idols, from consuming blood or the meat of strangled animals, and from sexual immorality. If you do this, you will do well. Farewell. (Acts 15:29, NLT)

Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people. (Ephesians 5:3, NLT)

God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. (1 Thessalonians 4:3–7, NLT)

Here's the good news: if you truly repent from sexual sin, God will make you new and clean again, restoring your purity in a spiritual sense.
How Can I Resist?

As believers, we must fight off temptation every day. Being tempted is not the sin. Only when we give into the temptation do we sin. So how do we resist the temptation to have sex outside of marriage?

The desire for sexual intimacy can be very strong, especially if you have already had sex. Only by relying on God for strength can we truly overcome the temptation.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13 – NIV)

Here are some tools to help you overcome temptation:
8 Steps to Overcoming Temptation for Christian Teens
How to Resist Temptation and Grow Stronger in 5 Steps

by Kelli Mahoney